CLINTON

It goes without saying that former U.S. President BillClinton is not what he appears to be. But startling newevidence may point to the fact that he is neither a humannor an alien. Manufactured, patented and operated jointlyby the FBI and a certain famous cartoon company, BillClinton is actually a robot.Of course, it is only an indication of the superiority ofcurrent technology that he appears almost identical to a humanand what is more, is able to fool people in everydaysituations. He can, for example, communicate with otherson his own. During his presidency his foreign policies wereresolved by his creators, as are his domestic programs.Clinton’s notorious sexual escapades only make him seemall the more human. What is more, the choice of Al Gore ashis vice president served to make him look positively superhuman.Some right-wing groups became aware of therobotic nature of the former president. But the facts are sobizarre that they were reluctant to go public and risk theirown heads, so they tried to bring him down by more conventionalmeans. Clinton is rarely allowed out in the rainfor fear of a short circuit.